Ten Tips for Facilitating Discussions on Sensitive Topics

Be Intentional. Be Reflective. Be Accountable.

1. Prepare yourself and others for the discussion.
2. Clarify the purpose.
3. Establish or remind people of the clear ground rules for the discussion.
4. Create a framework for the discussion.
5. Be an active facilitator.
6. Be prepared to deal with intense and emotional moments.
7. Include everyone, but be respectful of an individual’s reluctance to share.
8. Summarize.
9. Reflect.
10. Act!

1. Prepare yourself and others for the discussion.

Don’t go into the discussion without having taken time first to reflect on your own responses to the questions that you are going to ask. It may be that you have biases and/or strong opinions about the topic. Know what these are. It may be helpful to talk to a trusted colleague about these biases or opinions in advance of the discussion to help you think through how you can keep these from exerting inappropriate influence over the flow of the discussion.

Review materials in advance. Develop a framework for the discussion. Be willing to develop a written list of talking points or even write out what you are planning to say. Rehearse it. This doesn’t mean that you should read from a script, but rehearsing will help you better communicate what you intend to say.

Let those in your group know in advance that the discussion will be occurring. Be careful not to spring a discussion of a sensitive topic on anyone. Allow those in the group to review materials in advance of the discussion so that there is common ground. This may include reading materials, videos, podcasts, and/or a summary of the topic, and/or a question (or list of questions) relevant to the sensitive topic. It may be helpful to provide everyone with the framework of questions or discussion points in advance so they can come prepared to participate after having given thought to their responses.

2. Clarify the purpose.

Don’t go into a discussion of a sensitive topic without an objective in mind. The objective should not be: we are going to talk about this and see how it plays out. Start with the end in mind. What is it that you are hoping to accomplish? How will everything you do, from start to finish, help you accomplish that objective? Letting people know upfront what the objective is can help everyone be on common ground. Consider talking about the objective with the group at a time before the time set aside for the discussion. Doing this would provide an additional level of preparation and would allow the members of the group to participate in determining the purpose of the discussion.

3. Establish clear ground rules for the discussion.

This might not seem necessary, but when addressing sensitive issues, it is helpful to remind people of the communication principles that contribute to civil discourse. These may include:

• Assume positive intent.
• Remain curious.
• Listen. Listening is a respectful, active, and nonjudgmental activity. Those who listen are attuned to understanding others’ views, not to thinking about what they are going to say while someone else is talking. I good strategy to help you listen is to discipline yourself to ask at least one question (or more) before commenting or sharing what you want to say.
• Test assumptions and inferences.
• Interrupt only when needed to keep the conversation on topic or when doing so will lead to increased understanding. Interruptions should be rare, and they should be intentional and respectful when they do occur.
• Commit to learning, not debating.
• Address issues and topics, not people.
• Comment to share information, not to persuade. Share all the relevant information so everyone has what they need to engage in the conversation, make decisions, and solve problems.
• Avoid blame, speculation, and inflammatory language.
• Allow everyone the chance to speak.
• Avoid assumptions about others or generalizations about social groups.
• Do not ask individuals to speak for their social group.

Keep the list short. Most people will tune out after 5 guidelines.

An alternative, participatory and effective way of doing this is to engage the group in identifying these ground rules. When the rules are generated by the group rather than the facilitator those participating are more likely take ownership of the rules and abide by them. Ask something like: If we are going to accomplish our purpose in having this discussion, what ground rules guiding our discussion should we have in place so that everyone feels like they can participate honestly and with transparency?” Write down what people say and review the list with everyone after ideas have been generated. It is important to not comment on the list or the items on it until all ideas have been generated. Now that you have this list generated by the group, ask the group to agree on the 5 (no more than 7) that they would like to see on the list that will guide the conversation. This list does not need to be generated again, but as the facilitator you will want to remind people of the ground rules that you have agreed upon before you engage in future discussions of sensitive topics. Ask something like: Do these ground rules still apply?

Reviewing ground rules for these conversations helps to reinforce that the discussion is about a sensitive topic. Doing so helps attune people to others and to the impact of their behavior on others.

It is much easier to talk about ground rules before problems arise than after.

4. Create a framework for the discussion.

Scaffolding for the discussion is important to accomplishing the desired outcomes. This framework can include the following:

• Introductory comments to set the stage for the discussion. This should include a statement of the purpose or expected outcome of the discussion to let people know what they are working toward (see above).
• Discussion or reminder of ground rules (see above).
• Predetermined questions loosely organized and prioritized to help you accomplish your objectives. You need not ask each of your predetermined questions, and you shouldn’t feel that you need to limit yourself to only those questions that you have predetermined. This is only a guide or framework for the discussion, not a script. Also, allow the questions to stimulate discussion by asking appropriate follow up questions, making connections between what various people are saying, and summarizing.
• Activities that will encourage sharing and discussion. For example, you may consider having people respond to certain questions in groups of 2 to 4 people. Especially when asking people to share their own experiences, it may be easier to do so when they aren’t making their comments in front of many people. Smaller groups also allow for a larger number of ideas and viewpoints to be expressed.

5. Be an active facilitator.

This means asking follow-up questions to encourage understanding and to facilitate discussion. It means summarizing what is being said considering other comments or questions. It means responding with empathy. It means preventing people from dominating the conversation. It means guiding the discussion toward accomplishment of the agreed upon objectives. Facilitating discussions of sensitive topics requires a lot of mental and emotional energy. Make sure you are rested and mentally sharp. Come prepared to work!

A note of caution: Effective facilitators are good listeners. In fact, they spend most of their time listening. While they play a prominent role in the conversation, it is a role of active listening, questioning, and summarizing, not of sharing one’s own thoughts, experiences, or opinions. The word count of what the facilitator says should be relatively small.

6. Be prepared to deal with intense and emotional moments.

Dealing with sensitive topics is sure to elicit intense emotional responses in some, if not all of those participating—including the facilitator. Come prepared to help people navigate the emotion that is associated with talking about these topics. The strategy should not be to suppress emotions or discourage their expression. These are emotional topics, and getting to solutions requires people to work through the intensity of the emotion associated with them. The strategy should be to acknowledge with empathy the intensity of the conversation and the emotion when it is expressed, and to use that as a catalyst for the discussion and for change.

7. Include everyone, but be respectful of an individual’s reluctance to share.

Without active facilitation, discussions about sensitive topics are often dominated by one or a few people who are willing to speak up. With a few exceptions, this will not result in accomplishment of expected outcomes. Start with the assumption that everyone has come prepared to share something, and then create a framework that allows everyone to share. This may mean getting people into smaller groups to talk about an aspect of the topic. It may mean calling on people (make sure you let people know you will be doing this in advance). It may mean asking those who have already spoken to wait to share something else until others have spoken.

While it is important to give everyone the opportunity to speak, it is equally important to respect someone’s desire not to do so. If someone chooses not to share or comment, be careful not to apply pressure. Do not make assumptions about why someone doesn’t want to share. For example, when talking about sexual harassment, choosing not to share doesn’t mean that the person has experienced it. Don’t assume that they have. Just respect their decision to not share. Also, just because someone doesn’t speak up doesn’t mean that they aren’t actively participating in the conversation. Some of the most potent advocates for change may be among those who are the quietest during the discussion.

8. Summarize.

Make sure to reserve time at the end of the discussion to summarize the key points and takeaways. Those participating in the discussion are more likely to feel that it was worthwhile if there is a summary. This can be improved if it includes a statement of expected next steps that are directly informed by what was shared during the discussion. While the facilitator can provide this summary, they can also get help from the participants. Some ways of doing this could include asking participants to write or share:

• The 1 or 2 most important or meaningful things they heard.
• What question they have that is still unanswered.
• Something that they learned or heard that they wouldn’t have thought of on their own.

9. Reflect.

After the discussion, set aside time to reflect on how you did as a facilitator and on what you learned from the discussion. Be sure to write down your summary of the discussion, including the most salient themes that the discussion appeared to coalesce around. If the discussion resulted in ideas for action items, make sure those are recorded. If you used an advisory committee to help develop the framework for the discussion, make sure to engage them in the reflection.

10. Act!

You’ve stated that your bias is toward action, and you have facilitated a discussion leading to the generation of ideas that can be acted on. Your priority now needs to be on the doing, on the implementing, on the action! Don’t let too much time pass before acting on suggestions generated during the discussion. People need to see that action is being taken. For most people, the shelf life of their confidence that something will ever come from these kinds of discussions is short. Pick something that came from the discussion, act on it in a visible way, attributing the idea as an outcome of the discussion. But, be careful not to stop there. Develop a plan for acting on other suggestions as well, including those that are systemic in nature and that may take time (years even) to implement in a way that will affect change.